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How I Found Out My Fiancée Was Married.

One of the things that badly breaks a person’s heart is discovering that the person you love is married. To many people, this can lead to suicide or depression if not properly attended to early enough. In this case, the person is advised to seek counseling as soon as possible for their benefit. “How I found out my fiancée was married is still fresh to date.”

Below is the story of Ann and Chris and how she came to find out that her dream-found man was married.

How I found out my fiancee was married.

How did you guys meet?

I met Chris at a certain office where he was working as a manager. I had gone there to deliver something and he attended to me so well. We exchanged contacts and for a while became friends.

We used to talk once in a while for two years until he told me his interest in us being together. I declined his request for some time but later things fell into place and we started dating. This was after my conviction that he had all the qualities of the man I wished to have as my husband.

How was your dating life? “How I found out my fiancee was married.”

We were cool although we rarely went out together because we were both busy. Most of the time we communicated through the phone and we were good. He was so caring, kind, and understanding which made me love him even more.

He made me laugh and brightened my days with his romantic talk. He used to call, text, and kept on checking on me every time. I was one lucky lady as it seemed then. There was no day we had a boring chat or talk. Not in my wildest dream would I have imagined us not being together until I found out he was married.

When did you start suspecting he was married?

I started noticing he never wanted us to communicate much during the weekend and that raised an alarm. At some point he only wanted us to chat via WhatsApp and not messages or phone calls. He also didn’t want us to meet on weekends pretending to be busy visiting friends and family since he was busy Monday to mid-Saturday.

Whenever I asked him whether he was married he practically denied everything and told me to stop getting to conclusions. This kept on bothering me because all the signs showed something was cooking behind my back. I did not want to involve myself with a married man because I respect what God has joined together. This continued for a while and I decided to dig out the truth.

What step did you take?

After trying to find out the truth from him in vain, I decided to hire someone to investigate the matter. I gave him the instructions to follow him one weekend and inform me once he saw him. He went out as usual with his wife and I saw everything.

The thought of confronting him was far because of everyone’s peace and to avoid drama. After watching all their day’s events, I went home and didn’t want to see him ever again. He tried on several occasions to ask what the problem was and I decided to let the cat out of the bag. He was shocked as he never expected the truth to come out but that was it.

How did you cope with the heartbreak?

It was hard for me, considering I am not an outgoing person and an introvert. I fell into depression for six months but after realizing the whole thing affected everything in my life, I went to see a counselor and it helped me heal. How I found out my fiancee was married shocked me too since I did not expect to find out that way.

At least everything came to light after I found out he was married instead of wasting my time ruining someone’s marriage unknowingly. Although I almost lost my job due to depression, everything worked out well again.

Playing with a person’s emotions is wrong because not everyone is interested in dating a married person. The truth will always set you free so say it since the word goes to avoid misunderstanding. We are all different; what I dislike is not the case with someone else. If you are in a marriage institution, be open and let your crush decide whether it will work for them or not.

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Why My Wife Cheated On Me With My Best Friend.

A strong foundation in marriage is built by both parties. When one party feels entitled to their decisions without consulting the other, that marriage will die on arrival. Why my wife cheated on me with my best friend bothered me. Not anymore though since I found out the reason and blame myself.

Why My Wife Cheated On Me With My Best Friend.

The ladies on my opposite table are chatting and laughing contagiously. One can see they are having one of those happy moments. I approached them to say hi and we struck a conversation. The next minute, we seem like people who have known each other for ages. It’s getting late and we have to part ways but not without Cindy’s phone number.

Friendship begins.

The night seemed longer than expected since I was eager to call and say hi to Cindy. I make sure to be an early good morning bird to her. She is not fully woken up but our morning conversation is flowing fine. I request for lunch date and we agree.

She is one hour late but no big deal to me. We get to talk about lots of staff and go back to work. We both work in the same town which makes it easier for us to meet. After work, I pick up the ladies from work and drop them at their apartment. They happen to be close to my neighborhood. We bid goodnight and promised to see each other the following day.

Will you be my girlfriend? Why my wife cheated on me with my best friend.

Everybody in my workplace is noticing my happiness and wonders whether I have won a jackpot. This is more than a million wins. We meet for dinner and the long-awaited question finally pops. Will you be my girlfriend? Yes, I will. The response is a dream come true.

Cindy is a lady who cannot wait to correct one when wrong. She is everything in a woman I want as my wife and accepting to be my girlfriend means a lot. We are moving so fast but there is no way I will lose her to someone else. We are best of friends in such a short time and there is a lot to learn from her.

Will you marry me?

After six months of dating, it’s time to make her my wife. Who wouldn’t want such a woman as a wife anyway? This weekend is her birthday and I will make it special for Cindy. My heart skips a bit since her response to my long-awaited request will be either negative or positive.

 On her birthday evening, friends and family are enjoying themselves to the fullest. My fiancée is wearing a beautiful red gown which fits her figure perfectly. I walk to where she is and go down on one knee. Will you marry me and complete my life? All eyes on us, she turned and with tears in her eyes said yes.

Our colorful wedding finally takes place.

Two weeks later, we tied the knot in a colorful wedding attended by hundreds of people including our bosses. What an honor! Cindy is a very friendly person who has no room for hatred and hypocrisy. Sometimes she goes overboard to help those in need.

When I come home with my friends, she is super accommodating and entertaining. No dull moment when around her. Her killer body figure is admired by many. Sometimes jealousy takes control of me seeing men stare at her whenever we walk together.

All is not well.

Three years in marriage, I became toxic and unreasonable. I began to suspect my wife based on my imagination. She stopped working when my insecurities took a bad toll in her life. The stress I caused her led to ulcers and anxiety. We had one baby girl and my marriage was in bad shape. My best friend was noticing my animosity towards my wife and warned me severally but I was too proud to hear.

He became her confidant and they became closer by the day. Honestly, my insecurity and jealousy led my wife in finding peace and happiness in another man. I cannot blame her though since it was my fault. By the time I realized my mistakes, my wife had lost faith, love, and interest in me. She was already in love with him. Why my wife cheated on me with my best friend was my fault.

The ugly turn of events hurt me to the core. As much as I wanted to blame them, it was too late since the room was created by me. I tried to redeem my marriage but it was like collecting water poured on the soil. Perhaps it was time to work on myself and move on. We divorced and she got married to my best friend.

When they say you do not know what you have until you lose it, it’s true. Looking back, I had the best wife but due to my stupidity, she is now happy with someone else. Have you ever been in such a situation?

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Blooming Love Gone Sour.

Have you ever celebrated drinking from your dream come true cup then everything crumbled and you were left devastated? That’s exactly what happened to my friend. It made me decide to be single as long as it takes after seeing blooming love gone sour.

Blooming Love Gone Sour.

Beautiful Love

My friend Jenny was this cool, calm, and collected lady. She was never dull and you would think she had everything working in her favor. Days seemed shorter whenever we went out or were together since she had much to share with me.

She was happily married and I used to admire their love. Her home was always well maintained. The husband was kind, caring, and loving. The ground recognized their steps as you would feel their presence from afar.

The story behind blooming love gone sour.

Love and marriage seemed beautiful by the look on their faces but there was more to her smile than I saw. She had a lot on her plate than my imagination would lie to me.

I never knew her smile hid a lot that was bothering her as she seemed always happy. Jenny was battling depression, heartbreak, and a painful divorce. She was strong in public hiding her pain and suffering in silence.

How did she even reach that point? When did the blooming love go sour yet it was admired by many of her friends and colleagues? It was confusing but she decided to confide in me.

“When I first fell in love, my face brightened as my heart was smoothened by the feeling. The moment I saw Mike, it was like my heart was attached to his instantly. We talked for a while then left for usual business. Before I left, he requested my number which I never declined.

Our happy moments began to change.

The following day his call was the alarm as I headed to pick up. His voice made my heart skip a bit and I could hardly control my feeling. He offered to take me out for lunch and since my schedule was favoring me, I honored his request.

It was as if we had known each other for a very long time as we walked towards his car. When he opened the car door for me, I felt really special as his eyes came into contact with mine. He gave me a smile that I could not resist smiling back.

I was a lady in love already but had to control myself. After lunch, he offered to take me home in the evening and I declined. I wish you saw the disappointment in his face. I had to play hide to get for obvious reasons.

As I drove home, the day’s events kept on disturbing my mind. Those were good memories to keep right? That night he kept on calling but I ignored his calls. He sent a goodnight message but never got a reply from me.

He called the following morning to know how my night was and we talked for some time. We agreed to meet that day and that’s how we began to date and later got married.

Our marriage life was one of the best experiences I’ve had in my entire life. Things were working just fine for both of us and not a single day we had a heated argument without a solution. Every marriage has its share of problems and ours was not exceptional.

Years later, the union got too hot for him to bear and that was when I knew things were out of hand. When our in-laws from his side decided to become middlemen in our marriage, I knew something was about to separate us.

My impatient inlaws.

We were in marriage for four years without a child but my husband had no problem with that. Not once did he ever make me feel less of a woman because of the issue. He was supportive, caring, as well as defensive whenever someone made me look like a bad omen.

Things began to get out of hand when his family became impatient. They thought it was not worth being a wife if I could not conceive. The feeling of being criticized for not having a child is like spearing a knife in someone’s chest. My husband would not take it anymore so he made his decision as if I no longer existed in his life.

To add salt to the injury, my husband brought another woman to our matrimonial home. I was instructed to respect and serve her since I had become a liability in that house. She used to insult, mistreat, and call me a barren witch.

Have you ever been to the wilderness alone and unable to know how to get out of it? That was my day-to-day life for two years. I endured a lot from my husband and his new wife hoping he would come back to his senses and love me the way he used to. It remained just a dream that I never woke up from.

Painful end of our marriage.

The divorce papers thrown at my face came as a shock when I least expected it. Nothing mattered to him anymore as he was ready to forget all that we had. That once caring, kind, understanding, and gentleman had become a stranger to me. Our blooming love went sour, and I had to deal with it.

Somehow I had to wear a fake smile in public while my heart was hurting and bleeding. We were given one year of separation to decide whether there was a chance to revive our marriage.

Perhaps we were not meant to be together no matter how painful it felt. It was time to let my husband have his way and set him free. I gave him the divorce he requested and we went our separate ways.”

Tears were rolling down as she narrated her predicaments. The pain was evident but she was strong to face the world. We talked for some time and I offered to stay with her at my place at least to monitor her progress and be there for her.

Everything is fine now. Jenny is happy and mentoring other couples on different platforms. I’m proud of her as she is willing to let everything go, forgive, and open a new chapter. Every day I remind her she has a life to live and the world is beautiful with her in it.

Life is a book with many chapters. Read every chapter as you write your version because someone else will read it and feel refreshed. Be ready to face it all like my friend did and it will smile back.

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Am I ready to fall in love now or still need time?

Is love what I need right now or should I take time? This question will save you from falling for the wrong person. Love is there and you will never wake up and realize it does not exist. Before thinking of committing your heart to someone, ask yourself this question. Am I ready to fall in love now or still need time?

Love is a commitment and once you are in it, the best thing to do is be mindful of your partner. Being loved is a very good thing but there are some challenges to deal with. It is not a bed of roses, neither is it hell on earth. Let us look at some of the things that tell whether you are ready to fall in love below:

Communication.

It plays a big part as the way you both pass information matters a lot. How do you want issues addressed? When you look at your partner, can your communication flow and end well no matter what it is about? Do you address issues out of proportion or take time to understand things first? If communication is a challenge, then work on it first.

Concluding before understanding your partner only pushes them away. Communicate how you feel, where they need to improve, why things need to be done in a certain way, and the way you both should relate to each other. When offended, do not let your partner feel unneeded. Talk to them and look for a solution instead of leaving them out.

Anger Management. Am I ready to fall in love now or still need time?

We all get angry but how to deal with it makes the difference. When falling in love, your partner has their shortcomings. Not every time you’ll both agree on issues and sometimes the arguments will turn nasty. How do you react when angry? Are you still accommodative, lovable, kind, and calm when things get out of hand?

Disrespect will always push your loved one away if anger cannot be managed. Calm down no matter how hot the argument is and do not utter hurtful words. That’s why you need to ask yourself, am I ready to fall in love now, or still need time? It will save you a lot of stress if you’ve not worked on anger issues.

Self-love.

No one is going to love you enough if your self-esteem is low. How you love yourself tells a lot about the kind of person you are falling in love with. If struggling with self-esteem, you need help on how to improve and love yourself more before falling in love. Do not subject someone to the pain of understanding you by not loving yourself.

Be your motivator and cheerleader before bringing someone else on the board. Am I ready to fall in love now or still need time should be the first question to ask yourself before taking the step. Loving someone while struggling to accept or love yourself fully will only lead to heartbreak. Self-love is the key to falling in love with the right person.

Confidence.

Watching someone do a task with so much confidence makes you think they are overdoing it right? Believing in someone who does not believe in themselves is draining and boring. Before expressing your desire to be with someone, observe your confidence first. Are you confident enough to win even if someone thinks you cannot do it? Do you believe in yourself or easily get discouraged and give up?

Win and lose are part of our daily challenges but should not stop you from achieving your dreams. Keep moving and be confident that even if not now, you will soon reach where your heart desires. If you are not confident in yourself enough, be considerate and ask, am I ready to fall in love now, or still need time? If your confidence is great, go for it then.

Listening and Understanding.

Sometimes it’s pointless to talk to someone who cannot listen to understand what you are trying to communicate. We all need to be listened to but if you are talking to someone who is engaged and not listening, the interest of talking to them drops to zero. It is also good to understand or seek clarity if the point passed across was not understood.

A constant ignorance leads to someone with better listening and understanding skills. Even if it’s a challenge, you both can work on it. If both parties are talking simultaneously, no one will listen or understand the other until you agree to have a decent conversation that will lead to an agreement.

Love soothes the heart when embraced by the right person but it will be better to consider the above before going for it to avoid heartbreak. Do you think you are ready to love again or must you improve yourself first?

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How to Love Again After Experiencing Heartbreak.

The need to heal after heartbreak is irreplaceable. I know love is what triggers the pain when the one you love breaks up with you. Yes, life is what we make out of it but sometimes the happenings are beyond our control. Let us focus on how to love again after experiencing heartbreak since that is not the end of a beautiful love story.

Unfortunately, sometimes one is not courageous enough to tell you why your love story has to end. Others are lucky to know why they are not a perfect match anymore. Maybe hurting your feelings with the truth is better than being in the dark with endless questions. Is it possible to love again after heartbreak? Yes, someone is waiting for you.

How to love again after experiencing a heartbreak.

Heal and move on.

There is time to accept the breakup. The more time you spend healing and adjusting your life, the better before falling in love again.

No timeframe as to how long one should be sad over a breakup. The deeper you are in love with the person, the more it takes time to finally let go and move on. Once the healing is complete, wake up and face the next phase of love life.

If you carry the bitterness to the next person, no matter how much they love you, the time will come and they will give up. Every person desires to be with someone who has overcome the past. Make sure no pain of the past relationship is carried forward to the next. Before deciding to move on, be a person who is ready to leave all about the past and be happy again.

How to love again after experiencing heartbreak is by paying the price. 

Yes, love is kind and patient. The person you’re going to fall in love with is not perfect. They also have a past that needs to be overcome. Be a team player, be patient with each other, and know how to handle your issues without dragging the past to them. If they tell a secret to you that lowers their self-esteem, let there be complete trust.

Never use what your spouse confides in you against them no matter how pissed you are. That will make them withdraw a lot of information and not trust you anymore. Pay the price of being trusted, patient, and a team player.

Loving someone means committing time, and resources, as well as making some sacrifices for them. Love is work and unless one is ready to pay the price that comes along with it, never waste another person’s time yet you’re not ready.

Make a choice.

Trying to prove a point will always hurt you. Do not let fear of the past hinder you from facing the future. Dealing with the past and healing requires another step. That is deciding whether to love again or stay single. In this life, it’s either you are happy in love union or happy being single.

Choosing to love again is entirely up to you. Never let people or society rush you into making a haste choice. Even if they want you to settle down, let the decision come from your heart. Love is not all rosy; it has its challenges. In most cases, the two of you are to face the challenges not the society.

A lot will happen between the two of you but the most important is whether your choice was right. Looking back and remembering falling in love was a choice gives you the courage to face hardships and overcome them with your spouse.

Never compare your past with the present.

People have different pasts and react to situations differently. That does not mean some similar character will lead to a previous reaction. If the person who broke your heart had some characters that resemble the current one, it does not mean they will do what was done.

Every person is unique in a way even if not as expected. Never compare them thinking they are there to hurt you too. Sometimes our observations are completely the opposite of reality. Give someone time to prove who they are without jumping to conclusions and denying yourself a chance to be happy again.

Be specific and focused.

Who wakes up one day and finds themselves in love? Yes, your answer is correct. No one which means there is a specific character one needs in a spouse. A lot of people tend to think the other person will change and fit their specifications. No darling, one changes because they feel like it. Forced change drives someone to their initial character with time.

Better follow your expectations instead of getting heartbroken again. When one settles for what they didn’t expect, they find so many faults along the way. How to love again after experiencing heartbreak is not by sacrificing what you love for what you like.

Let your decisions be triggered by your satisfaction. Focus on the kind of person your heart yearns for as that person is somewhere waiting for you. No matter how long it takes to find the right partner, patience will pay off someday.

Be kind and lovable.

Some people scare away potential suitors with their unlovable approach. The harsh tone or talk to, laugh with, and yearn to spend more time with.

Your conversation should welcome more talks instead of being unfriendly and judgmental.  We understand sometimes one has a bad day but it does not mean being unkind or insulting people approaching you.

Overreacting to unfavorable days pushes the innocent ones away and they wonder why you give them unwelcoming treatment. Know how to deal with your offenders as embracing others becomes your target. A kind and lovable person attracts the same which makes love life enjoyable. If you are willing to enjoy love, welcome it.

Are you wondering how to love again after experiencing heartbreak? It is possible as many have done it. The only challenge is how ready one is to embrace love once more. Have you fallen in love again? Let us know your thoughts and journey.

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Dumped after pregnancy.

I dated this man for more than 4 years and we had so many plans together. He promised that we would have a beautiful family and live a happy life. Not even a single day did I ever notice anything fishy or suspicious about him. Love was taking over everything including my career. Little did I know that I would be dumped after pregnancy.

Our love was so strong and we were happy together. We never got intimate in our dating life, but we were both okay since it was an agreement. I was in a world of love and to me, nothing could stop us from accomplishing our dream of living happily ever after.

How Did It Start Upto Dumped After Pregnancy?

On that fateful day, I went to visit my prince Chummy as usual. We had a good time together and the day seemed short. We got so close and could not hide our feelings for each other anymore. One thing led to another and the unexpected happened.

After a couple of weeks, I noticed something was wrong with me. I went to see a doctor and after running some tests on me, he announced my pregnancy. Is it good or bad news? How will my fiancée react to it? How will this affect our relationship? Is he ready to be a father? I had endless questions but no one to answer except him.

How Did He React To The News?

After a long consultation with me, it was time to break the news. At first, he was happy which to me was a big relief. Days passed and he started ignoring me. He could no longer pick up my calls and rarely replied to my text messages.

There I was, scared, confused, sad and stressed. Tears became my food and sleep a nightmare. Hours turned to days and days to weeks. I felt betrayed and devastated. Why me? Why the sudden change? What of all our promises and bright future together? Many questions ran through my mind.

Enough is enough, I decided to visit him and face whatever the problem was once and for all. He did not want to talk to me and the last thing I remember is him telling me to give him time to think. He then kicked me out of his house and after two weeks brought another lady. I could not believe he dared to dump me after I got pregnant with our child.

Why Did You Decide To Commit Suicide?

Days and weeks passed without him telling me anything. One day, he told me we could not be together because he was not ready for marriage. When I asked him the reason, there was no explanation. Imagine someone dumping you after pregnancy yet he was always there for you before.

Being a Christian, abortion was not an option because it is murder. What do I do now? Where do I start? I lost my job and was now pregnant.  Desperation, stress, tears, and suicide became my best friend.

I was tired and helpless with no means of survival. How was I going to survive during the pregnancy? After delivery how am I going to bring up the baby without a job? How will I pay my bills? Who do I turn to being an orphan? What is the point of living such a painful, sad, and desperate life?

There was no one to turn to and the world seemed empty to me. It was as if God had abandoned me as I saw it then.  Perhaps if I end my life, I will not face the pain anymore because there is no pain for non-existence. The pain of being dumped after pregnancy was worse than a mere heartbreak.

I decided to buy poison and end it once and for all. Sure enough, I bought it but my conscience could not allow me to harm an innocent baby. The thought of God punishing me for murder was too much. Maybe if I turn to Him there will be a solution for all my misery, I was now convincing myself.

How Did You Overcome Suicide Thought?

Somehow, I started thinking about the baby. We needed each other despite the problems we were facing. I needed to be a good mother to it and let the past be. Finally, it was time for me to talk to someone maybe to lighten the burden in my heart.

After talking to a friend, it was time for me to wake up and realize all was not lost. She gave me much hope, and reason to live and bring up the baby. I became positive and decided to pick myself up and move on. Although my pregnancy journey was not easy because of financial strain, I had a friend to encourage and support me somehow.

God had mercy on me. I depended on him and asked Him to heal my heart and teach me how to turn a new leaf and start all over. Right now I’m a happy mother to a beautiful baby girl who gives me more reasons to live and work hard.

I forgave that man for the sake of me and my daughter and moved on. I’m no longer bitter nor suicidal because God restored peace, joy, hope, and reasons for me to live and serve him. Even if he dumped me after pregnancy, it was time for me to heal and find my purpose once more.

What Advice Can You Give To Someone Facing a Difficult Situation?

Whatever you go through in your life, first know that ending your life is not and will never be a solution. Sometimes it seems so but when you decide to see things differently, you realize there are better things ahead.

Pick yourself up and tell God to help you start a new life. Surely if God did it for me, He will also do it for you. Never be bitter with life and never give the devil a chance to make you think things will never be better because there is hope for a better tomorrow.

Never lose hope, always trust in God, and talk to someone because you are not alone. Some people face worse than what we are facing and they are positive things will change. Your tomorrow will be better and your life is important. One day you will look back and realize the pain was worth your achievement. Be strong and value your life.

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A TOUR TO THE WORLD OF LOVE.

Have you ever considered visiting people in love and seeing how madly in love they are? If you take a tour to the world of love, you will realize how happy people are falling in love with the right partners. Wait! Before you ask where and how to get there, think about love.

When did you fall in love with the right person and have the pleasure of feeling special? You should take a tour to the world of love and see that true love still exists. Your heart decides whether it has enough space to fall in love or still needs time.

A tour to the world of love is paying attention to your heart. It is the determiner of how you react to love. When you claim to be in love and your heart says otherwise, that means it’s not ready yet.

You cannot continue avoiding love because someone you fell in love with hurt you. That is how to know there is fake and true love because if someone values you, they will do their best to be with you.

Whenever true love comes knocking at your heart, be ready to reciprocate because that is what we all wish for. Yes, true love is rare to find but hey! It is there and will always be.

Before you take a tour to the world of love, requirements are needed because you must be prepared first. You can only accommodate someone when you are comfortable and confident with yourself first.

Requirements before finding true love: A tour to the world of love.

Love yourself fully.

Be complete not expecting anyone to fill any gap in your life.

Spend quality time with yourself.

Take yourself for lunch and dinner.

Enjoy your life and do what makes you happy.

Be your true love first.

There are many signs to observe and conclude whether someone truly loves you without pretense. You might think such people do not exist but they are somewhere waiting to make their way to your heart.

A person who truly loves you must be keen on the following:

Do not shy away from showing love even in public.

Is confident of the feeling towards you.

Accepts corrections positively and rectifies the mistakes.

Checks up on you regularly.

Spends time with you to know you better and understand your likes and dislikes.

Takes care of your heart and will never hurt you intentionally.

Keeps no secrets from you because there is trust.

Whatever two people in love share is unique and keeps them grounded. When you understand how important true love is, that’s a step to finding it.

When you decide to open your heart, there is your soul mate waiting to show you how bright and sweet true love is. Prepare your heart and mind to fall in love because if a heart loves, it loves for real.

If you have ever had a bad experience with love that gave the impression of how hard love is to maintain, then you need to revisit that.

There are millions of people in the world who are different in all aspects. Their characters are not the same as well as their beliefs. That means there are those looking for true love and are ready to take a trip to the world of love, prepare for it, and find their perfect match.

Someone who matches your preferences is somewhere wondering how to reach you, open your heart, and erase the negativity from your mind.

Only when you stop believing the narrative that ‘there is nothing like true love nowadays’ is when you will find your perfect partner.

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How to Deal With Grief and Acceptance.

Death is the most painful thing in a person’s life since there is no other time to be with them. When one is born, celebrations are all over until they leave for good. In so many cases, one does not know how to deal with the loss and sometimes it leads to depression. How to deal with grief and acceptance is a process that takes time.

The moment you lose a loved one, the chemistry and connection are irreplaceable. In that case, you think the gap will always remain as a wound that cannot heal. Yes, loss is extremely painful but for how long will you hold on to the pain and not accept the reality? Unfortunately, this can happen to anyone at any time since death has no date. How can you overcome the pain?

Take part in all activities before and after burial.

I have seen people isolate and distance themselves when plans and preparations for the burial are underway. That leads to more pain afterward since all the activities never existed in your memory. After the burial, it is when reality hits you hard that something is going on. When people finally leave to their respective homes, the event of what happened hits so hard. What is the importance of engaging in the activities before the send-off?

  • Your mind is adapting to someone’s permanent absence.
  • Hearing people talk about the deceased prepares your mind for the life ahead.
  • Engaging in the activities gives you a clear picture of their empty space.
  • All the activities make you understand that they will never return.
  • You give them their last gift.
  • You create a permanent space between you and them.
  • You see them being taken to their final resting place and begin a life in their absence. 

Give yourself time to deal with grief and acceptance through mourning.

When a loved one is gone, many events happen before the burial. That leads to being engaged all through until they are laid to rest. What happens after that day? There was no emotional and mental reality during the preparations. There were many people around hence leading to a period of pending acceptance. Sometimes the whole issue becomes a dream that you wish never to wake up from.

What next? After the burial, people leave, and friends stop calling and visiting after some time. Reality hits that there is a permanent absence of a loved one. The space they occupied in your heart begins to yearn for them. You hold on to the hope that maybe it was a journey and they’ll be back soon. Acceptance begins to doom since no one embraces death.

How to mourn.

Mourning is personal and unique depending on the relationship with the deceased. Some people engage in activities in order to avoid thinking about their loss. Others isolate themselves while some talk about it to ease the pain. Whichever works for you is fine but some ways can lead to permanent wounds or death. How to deal with grief and acceptance flows with time.

Losing a loved one is like a bad nightmare but the process of mourning them is sometimes dangerous too. As much as there is loss, mental health is important. Isolation is more harmful than talking and being labeled as weak and emotional by those who do not understand how you mourn. Sinking into depression will be another burden to the mourner and the family although one rarely knows when being driven to it.

Healthy mourning and acceptance.

Someone is wondering what healthy mourning is. It is mourning in a way that the outcome will lead to less damage. When the pain is too much, one does not know how to come out of it. Have you ever heard of someone losing their life after the death of a loved one? There are several such incidents simply due to shock. No matter the closeness, the first step to healing is acceptance.

No one is immune to pain and as much as it hurts, it is always good to remember there is life afterwards. Never torture your mind to the point of depression due to loss. That’s not what the deceased wished. Acceptance is what leads to healthy mourning. Some of us have lost more loved ones than one can imagine but whoever is alive fights another day. Some days are better than others but killing yourself with too many thoughts, questions, and regrets will never bring them back.

What is the importance of acceptance?

They are gone never to return in this life. This is the hardest reality to accept. Living with the hope of seeing them again is only worsening the pain. Once you release someone and let them rest, the burden of unrealistic imaginations becomes lighter. No matter how much they meant to you, their time on earth has expired and you have no control over life and death.

It is important to understand that we all have our expiry date which no one knows when. Two hearts will never agree to separate which is why death is an unwelcome thief that steals the joy. Even if we keep saying that death is cruel, we cannot hinder it from taking away people. That is why the moment it strikes, acceptance becomes important. That does not mean you stop mourning, no. It means reality sticks to the mind even during that period.

Every person has a way of recovering from the pain but it should never lead to another tragedy. No matter how close both of you were, always remember that person is in a better place and wishes you well. Appreciate the moments shared together but let them live their new life as yours continue. Death is only the end of this life and we cannot stop it no matter how good we are.

Each day we long to see our loved ones over again but no one knows when the unexpected visitor called death comes to steal our loved ones. Remember how to deal with grief and acceptance depends on individuals. What comes to your mind when you hear the word death or have you ever lost someone close? How did you overcome it or deal with the pain?

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The Importance of Cautious Decisions When Angry.

Sometimes anger is ruthless and if one is not careful, it causes regrets afterward. We all reach that point when mindfulness is beyond our action when burning with anger. The importance of cautious decisions when angry keeps us in check not act in haste. Imagine someone acting similarly when the tables are turned, would we enjoy it?

Be considerate. That is one of the importance of cautious-

Yes, we all have that low moment when wronged no matter how composed we are. So many people are dealing with mental health issues and a little provocation can drive them into crazy reactions. That is not a ticket to careless decisions when angry though. There are better ways of managing anger for the sake of our loved ones. We all want to live long, and managing our anger is one way to a long life. Remember someone needs you before making any decision.

Let’s ask ourselves the outcome of our decisions in moments of anger. What if it leads us to a mess that destroys our future? What becomes of our dreams, aspirations, and plans? An empire is not built in a day but can be destroyed in seconds. That’s the importance of cautious decisions when angry.

The importance of making cautious decisions when angry.

How cautious decisions when angry will affect us.

Choices have consequences and their outcome will affect us either negatively or positively. It is up to us to decide which shoe to wear. If it hurts, run from it. Some decisions can be reversed but will have effects before then or thereafter. We should never let anger control our decisions or we will be forced to swallow its bitter pill.

Imagine the actions you have taken in the past when angry which you regret to date. Sometimes even words hurt more than we think. Some actions can drive someone to suicide but by the time we cool down, the damage is beyond repair. What if the coin is flipped and we are on the receiving end? Will the same decisions or actions hurt us?

No one wants to be a victim of another person’s wrath. Sometimes when at workplaces, the people we interact with provoke us in one way or another. They do not intend to do so at times but if we lack anger management skills, we will always have a bad day or relationship with people. The importance of cautious decisions when angry is to tame us not to have regrets.

Think of our future.

Do we want to have misfortunes in life? Your answer is as good as mine. The decisions we make today will have a great impact in the future. Now, hurting other people means planting what we will harvest. Their tears and pains will not go to waste. That’s why we should be cautious in our decisions and actions. We also hurt people anyway right? That means what you do to someone will be done to you by another since we are not angels.

Human beings are bound to make mistakes which are lessons by day. As long as we want to be forgiven by those we offend, we should also forgive our offenders. The importance of cautious decisions when angry paves the way to see ourselves through others. If we are not perfect, the rest aren’t as well. So, let’s be careful not to be a thorn in someone’s flesh rest our turns hurts more.

Do you have regrets as a result of your past actions or decisions? How did you deal with the regrets or make amends? Why do you think we should be cautious in our decisions based on your experience? We would like to hear and at least learn something from you.  

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I was Imprisoned; My Wife Remarried But God Saw My Innocence and Rescued Me.

As with every other person in love, pastor David Kithinji got married to the love of his life and was ready for happily ever after. I was imprisoned; my wife remarried, but God saw my innocence and rescued me. That shows every challenge is not an accident but a lesson.

Imagine loving someone and trusting them with everything you have then they become your worst nightmare. The person you call spouse lies against you and does everything possible to see you behind bars.

They do that so as to do what they want without you as an obstacle. That is the sad story of pastor Kithinji but thankfully today he has a testimony. This shows that no matter what, your innocence will always speak on your behalf.

I was Imprisoned; Wife Remarried But God Saw My Innocence and Rescued Me.

My Predicaments in Marriage.

When I married my wife, was hopeful we would grow old together but as fate had it, that never happened. Never did I imagine what was in store for me and that would be the beginning of my misfortunes. We were a happy family for some years until things began to change. I did everything possible to shape up things but it was as if her mind was made up.

On that fateful day, we had a misunderstanding and she left our step-daughter under my care. Life went on well since she needed time to think things through and know where things were not well. That was when hell broke loose for me and the beginning of turned events in my life.

The Arrest. I was imprisoned; my wife remarried but God saw my innocence and rescued me at the end.

It was a surprise one day when police officers stormed my house and arrested me on May 4th, 2012 claiming my stepdaughter reported that I had raped her. I was dumbfounded because they never even gave me time to say anything.

Before I understood what was happening was in Manyani Prison already and the case was rushed not understanding the reason behind my arrest.  My wife and her family demanded sh 50,000 to drop the case. I declined to grant their demand because had no doubt of my innocence. I was later released on bond and we were on and off the court for some years.

Trial and Sentence.

On August 26th, 2015 the girl gave her testimony in court and that was when it came to my realization that everything was well planned. I could not argue my case anymore because all was taken care of behind the curtains without my knowledge.

Sentenced to 20 years without the court hearing my side of the story. There was nothing to do since they had everything under control and my woe fell on deaf ears. My judgment was already decided without mercy way before the due date. At that point, I decided to resign to fate and face the jail term.

Life in Prison.

They transferred me to Kamiti Main Prison after serving eight months in Manyani Prison to complete my sentence there. Life was one hell to even talk of in prison bearing in mind it was something had not done. I decided to remain focused and seek God’s intervention.

Since my passion for God and ministry never died, I used to preach to my fellow inmates which gave me joy to face each day. Although it was not a walk in the park, I hoped for better days ahead and that one day my smile to be free would come to pass.

I pursued a degree in Theology while in Kamiti Main prison. There is a law school where teachers are inmate lawyers. They have dedicated their time to helping those who want to appeal their cases but have no financial capabilities to hire lawyers. This is a great help because in my case, my family fought for my innocence for almost two years but in vain.

The first lawyer I had hired dropped the case and disappeared with my money. That left me crushed bearing in mind there was nothing left on my account at that point. I almost gave up but thank God we lodged the appeal which was granted.

Freedom at Last

This time it was a different judge and after listening to my case he said ‘’When I look at your file Kithinji, you are an innocent man and did not deserve to be arrested in the first place. Go home, you are a free man’’.

It came after the medical examination showed that I had not defiled the girl as it had been reported. I found myself shedding tears of joy in disbelief. Those words rang over and over in my ears as if it was a dream. That was a big relief after serving two years and eight months in prison for a crime had not committed.  I had a reason to smile again as a free and innocent man.

Life after Prison.

My ex-wife is married now but she has my son who I love so much. Starting from scratch is fine by me because I want to work hard and provide for my son.

With time I know God will bless me and give me the strength to work hard and acquire more than initially had. I have forgiven her and her family a long time ago for everything they made me go through. I don’t want to hold any grudge because God gave me another chance and no one knows what tomorrow holds.

Thanks to my family, church members, and friends I’m slowly getting on my feet after losing everything had worked hard for. With time everything will be okay and I really thank God for seeing me through and serving justice on my case.

I’m back to serving God as always because that’s my calling. All I can say is whatever happens no matter how painful, there is a reason and God will always fight for those who put their hope and trust in him.

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